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PR Fuel: Help Wanted - Mental Health Professionals Only
If my head could actually spin it would have fallen onto the
floor already.
I've spent the past month going through over 300 resumes for
two different job openings. One of the jobs is at my company
and it is not public relations-related. The other job is at
a large financial services firm where a friend of mine works
and it is public relations-related. I agreed to help my
buddy vet resumes and eventually the candidates. I regret
that decision now.
It's not just that going through resumes and interviewing
people is time-consuming. It's mind-numbing and aggravating
because you end up dealing with people that not only would
you not want to hire, but you wouldn't even want to sit next
to on a bus.
There are people who simply don't understand the job hunting
process, or who refuse to accept that you may just not want
to hire them. Then there are those who only get as far as
the email inbox. For example:
1. The Illiterate (and no offense to those people who are
actually illiterate)
The advertisements I posted for both jobs were crystal clear
on a number of points. A certain level of experience was
required for one job, while no phone calls were to be
accepted by either hiring parties. Directions about what
materials to submit and what subject line to use in the
email (so that my email program could parse them into a
specific folder) were so simple that a child could follow
them. Despite what I felt were very clearly stated
parameters, only about half of the job applicants followed
directions. I don't think it's going overboard when I say
that if someone can't follow directions on how to apply for
a job then it's someone I don't want to hire.
2. The Future Superstars
It's one thing to apply for an entry-level job when you have
no experience. It's another thing to apply for a Vice
President level job when you have no experience. My friend's
company is hiring for a Vice President of Communications and
you wouldn't believe some of the applications we received.
My favorite was the person who was a year out of college
with a physical education degree. The only paying job on the
applicant's resume was working as a counselor at a summer
camp. Why the person felt compelled to put the time in to
apply for a job as the Vice President of Communications is
beyond me.
3. The Gappers
I haven't shopped at The Gap in years, but I saw plenty of
gaps on resumes. One applicant's most recent work experience
was 1994. His cover letter failed to explain why he had not
been employed for fourteen years. My guess was prison; my
friend guessed "won lottery, spent all the money." We didn't
bother to find out why.
4. The Passengers
I've read about them, but I didn't really believe they
existed until now: The Helicopter Parent. These people
earned their nickname because they hover over their
children's lives, exerting tremendous influence well past an
age when most kids are already shopping for mortgages. Well,
one of them called my friend after her "precious snowflake"
(as the kids say) applied for the VP of Communications job.
She wanted to know why we politely declined to interview her
son. After telling Mrs. Chopper that the job is for a
senior-level executive with over ten years of experience in
the financial services field, she proceeded to tell my
friend that her son has had a brokerage account since he was
13. My friend told the high-flying parent that her son
should look into a job at Bear Stearns.
5. The Best Worker in the World
The position I was hiring for (we literally filled it last
night) involved writing about securities regulatory filings.
It's a job that many seasoned financial journalists couldn't
even handle because it's so specialized. One of the
requirements of the job, as stated in the ad, is,
"Demonstrable ability to read and understand Securities and
Exchange Commissions filings related to insider and
institutional ownership disclosures (Form 4s, Schedule 13s,
Proxies, etc.)." Thus, when people whose only writing
experience has been for yoga websites and art magazines
applied, they got a quick rejection letter, even the one who
told us, "If I can write about early Twentieth Century
American Impressionists, I know I can write about Wall
Street."
___
Writing this, I realize that I may come off sounding a
little angry. If nothing else, it just shows you how
frustrating the experience has been.
Part of being a good public relations person is conducting
yourself professionally, even when you're just applying for
a job. You're representing yourself, and in a field like
public relations, that means you're already on trial.
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Ben Silverman is currently the Director of Development and a
Contributing Editor for Indie Research
(http://www.indieresearch.com), an independent investment
research service. Previously, Ben was a business news
columnist for The New York Post and the founder/publisher of
DotcomScoop.com. He can be reached via email at
bensilverman@gmail.com.
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